These instances seem to be occurring more often not as of late. The burning desire to find a corner and cry plagues me, and I can’t decide whether it means I still retain my sanity… or if I’m on a brink of losing it.
Next semester looms ever near. Can I make it? Am I taking the right courses, the right number of credit hours? What am I even doing with my life? Will I ever succeed… or is my life going to be one failure after another? I take two steps back before I can manage one step forward. I feel like it will never end.
And every time I find encouragement, motivation to continue on my chosen path, I find resistance and doubt. In the eyes of others, I’m idiot wandering around in life, lost. They don’t think I can make it. I don’t think I can make it. I don’t mean suicide - I have too many people who love me, depend on me. But I don’t know how my choices will pan out.
What am I doing.